The trash can here has to be one that the trash collector prescribes. Well, the one he has now is the second he has had since 1985 when he bought this house. It is full of cat- and possum-sized holes, not to mention they would accommodate a rat or raccoon. At least a dozen times, I have mentioned he should get a new one. So, today, after mentioning getting a new one delivered, he says he will call tomorrow.
Plus, when I arrived, the tub had water standing in it, about a half inch. Now, it is closer to two inches. I am disgusted and refuse to get in the shower, much less take a bath. I bought a tub for the kitchen sink which is only used to wash my hair and body. We tried to unclog the tub with vinegar, baking soda, boiling water and a plunger. After a week or more of that, it became apparent it was not going to work. I did not want to use a strong bottle of drain cleaner because it can hurt the plumber who may have to come out. The water has been standing in the tub for several years, taking days to completely drain from the tub. Oh, yuck!
He gets in there daily and stands in it to shower. He has diabetes. There is no telling how much toxic soup of germs he is exposing his diabetic feet to each day.
Today, I asked him WHEN he was going to call a plumber. His excuse? He did not want to make an appointment when I had something planned. Well, I have one thing planned out of the house in the next two weeks. So, he said he would call tomorrow.
I sit facing a curly bulb that blinds me. He has it about three feet from his face! I mentioned the danger of the fluorescent bulbs on eyes, and he said he was not worried. I am for my eyes. Several weeks ago, I said I was going to get a lamp for the table by me. He said to me in the most threatening voice, "Well, YOU will pay for the lamp!" I had a lamp sitting in the front of the storage unit and got it the next week.
Yesterday, he gave me a bulb. I have a box of bulbs in the unit! I keep forgetting to buy bulbs when I go out.
He is very frugal, which I like. But, he carries things too far.
There is a half bath that he refuses to let me pee in that is closer than the full bath. He refuses to tell me why I cannot.
His bedroom that I sleep in without him, is hot, stuffy when not hot, and full of crap sitting around and dust. I think he thinks if I am uncomfortable, I will leave sooner. No, the stress is not good for me and hinders what I can do. He has two other bedrooms where the doors must stay closed and the vents are turned off. They were so hot when either of us opens the door. I have heard that closing off the vents is not good for the units. Anyone know more about this? Years ago, he brought a few boxes here for me. I suppose I will wait until it is cooler to get into those two rooms.
A very nice end table next to love seat is my area of operations. That is where I have the lamp I brought here.
I was alarmed when I saw things I have mentioned. Yes, I am trying to change things at his house. He has a little table in the kitchen where he keeps his diabetes supplies and crap. I keep picking things up and tossing them--lid from some random food product, paper towel wadded up there for three weeks. I saw two D batteries corroding that I have spirit to the trash. Hopefully, the table is not damaged. He has a dining table in the dining room. But, he warned me to never touch the paper on it--tax stuff. Yet, two feet away is an empty file cabinet.
In his bedroom is a computer and all that entails, printer, broken down computer desk and broken chair. At least all my furniture was used and usable. There is also a canvas chair in there, sort of like a director's chair with boxes of clothes that he swears he can wear, just gathering dust. The dresser and chest of drawers are full of clothing and so are the three closets in the house.
I had to go buy my own towels and washcloths because he has three of each and he did not offer me any or show me where they were.
This place is being improved in the most basic of ways, nothing fancy or unnecessary. I am not asking for new faucets or carpet. This is basic stuff people should have, conditions they need to live. Things like a whole trash container are free! Throwing out corroded batteries in necessary. He has no flashlights!
I know he is nice and is doing me a favor, so quit telling me that as though I am unaware or forgetful. I cook one or two meals a day, so I am helping him, too. I just want him to do a few things for his benefit, like making phone calls!
It's an interesting way to live! It smacks of poverty, depression or just plain frailty. The bath sounds gruesome
ReplyDeletekylie,
DeletePoverty or depression is not the problem at all. This started while he did not need the walker. Being tight might be the answer...lol.
Have you tried using a plumbers snake for the bathtub? Ours ran soooo slow and we used that in the drain. It unclogged it and runs great now. No plumber cost, just need to have a plumber snake you can get at Fleet Farm or just about anywhere.
ReplyDeleteHe said he could not handle the snake. I know I cannot. We looked at them at Lowes. I had one at my house.
DeleteYou just described my Mother and stepdad.Their organizational mode was keep it in the open and I will be able to find it (so they thought). They were hoarders but called their selves collectors. The master bathroom had to be gutted when Mother died and Pop went in the nursing home. It was HORRIBLE and explained why no one was allowed to use it.
ReplyDeleteHow is it going with your land?
I had to nag my son for a year to get a new trash can also provided from trash company.
Chef,
ReplyDeleteHe is not a hoarder, just slow to throw things out and cannot get some of the stuff out of the house. Between the two of us, we can.
I am working on the "land."
When I awoke at 8:30, HE HAD called the city and a new can is ordered!
Just keep slowly moving him toward sanitary. You will get there.
ReplyDeleteKim, Sanitary is a good goal!
DeleteIt sounds like he is not able to do some things and unwilling to do others. But then you probably already see that being right there. Illness has made me have times in my life when I just didn't have the energy or care about things. Frugal is a good thing but not when it endangers his health or yours. I am surprised he hasn't had trouble with his feet using the tub that doesn't drain properly. You are doing a good thing helping him with some of the dangerous things in his life like cleaning stuff out of the refrigerator and dishes, lights, etc... I imagine it is hard and an uphill battle some days but you keep putting one foot in front of the other and for that I think you are doing a good thing for him. Sometimes people are set in their own ways and don't see it, especially men. lol. Take care.
ReplyDeleteCrystal,
DeleteThe tub and his standing it scares me so. Ther are still a few dirty plates in the refrigerator. He becomes incensed the first time I mention something. Then, each time I mention it, he settles down. This is like taming a wild horse. Yes, he is set in his ways Thanks.
My mom always tells me - With men you have to plant the seed of an idea little by little then finally it takes hold and they think it's all their idea. lol.
DeleteCrystal,
DeleteShe was quite right. And, Mama would tell us not to ask Daddy something before dinner. Wait until he had eaten. Same with Tommy. Mention it after he has had dinner.
Why do men get away with being so damn cranky and unreasonable and their women have to coddle/baby them along?
ReplyDeleteSue,
DeleteIf I knew the answer to that, I would be wealthy!!! It smacks of an imbalance of power. And, women want to please men most of the time. I am sort of different that way, but some days just giving in is easier. Great Question/comment!