Consumed with Grief

 Today, I was thinking about the expected phone call from a friend. Last night, it was too late to call, so I finally remembered it today. I called and left a message to call me. Less than an hour later, I saw her number on my phone.

When I heard it was her daughter, my heart dropped. Last October, she had spindle cell carcinoma and a twelve-hour operation ensued. She was back volunteering at church during all the treatment. Her main problem seemed to be the knee that had surgery years before.

She went to the doctor 2.5 weeks ago and found the cancer had returned and it is fatal this time. She has lost 30 pounds in this time and cannot speak, refuses food, and may die at any moment. Death is imminent. I silently cried for over 15 minutes while she talked non-stop about her mother's condition. I knew if I started sobbing, she could not continue without crying, too. The last two or three minutes I was whimpering as we talked dates for upcoming events this week. 

Her Celebration of Life will be next Sunday since she is not expected to live even three more days. I have never known of a planned Celebration before the person was dead. But, I am sure they happen. 

The daughter offered to allow me to speak with her but said my friend could not speak to me. I could not help but cry during that brief moment. I only told her how sorry I was, that I would miss her and that I loved her. A full, bawling, unintelligible sound was all I had next, so I quit speaking. Unfortunately, I did sob uncontrollably the last minute with her daughter. 

The last 30 seconds, I told her about the insulin pen covers, the plastic I saved from the dump. She was happy and said she would take them to her children's group at church. When I told her kids might put these in their mouths and I wondered if her son's group (disabled adults) could use them, she agreed they could use them in crafts. So, that one problem is solved. There are pink pieces that I will retrieve for my own use. 

The call was unique in my experience. Most of the time, I get a call after death, or I read an obituary. 

So, now I am trying to recover my physical and mental equilibrium. Tommy heard my friend's name and thought she had died since he did not hear all the conversation. I am glad we had lots of laughing before she called. 

Yucky Keto Brownies (edit--death at Publix)

 Today was a good day. I replaced the Wilton brownie pan and found a blouse on sale. It did not rain here once again, but it seemed Birmingham was spared. On the interstate there was about a ten-second spit of rain. We didn't even need the windshield wiper. 

All the flowers faltered a bit a few days ago, but seem to have rallied. The Stella D'Oro are full of flowers now. Maybe the flowers rallied because they got their second dose of fertilizer on Monday. Most of the flower envelopes stated to fertilize once a week, so we will. 

When I was in the research group for people who had had cancer, I was given two boxes of Miracle Gro, for flowers and vegetables. Then, at the final dinner, we could take all the supplies left over from the research project that was ending. Tommy and I both took two boxes of fertilizer. So, we have plenty. 

We both had an appointment with the podiatrist. We were about two months overdue for our next appointment. Her office called and said she had to cancel our last appointment because she was ill. Well today, she said she was in the hospital for a week. She had a pulmonary embolism. She had risk factors and had just traveled by plane. 

After the appointment we did go shopping. Of course, when we came home, I had a nap. 

Dinner: Chicken Cordon Bleu, new potatoes, slaw. I had the last of the strawberries--2, and almost a half cup of blueberries. 

We tried the Duncan Hines Chewy Fudge Brownies, and it stinks. There is nothing thick or fudgy about them. The texture of the batter and the brownie was like corn meal, the chocolate tasted bitter. I love dark chocolate, so this was a different taste, not good. Tommy is not a fan, either. AND, there was this warning--Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect in sensitive individuals. Just great!

I forgot to include this:

91-year-old woman dies after being struck by vehicle in Cullman (msn.com)

I was told a month ago at this Publix that a woman was hit and knocked into the bushes. I am afraid to cross to the store on the electric cart. I have known this woman for at least 35 years. 

If you do keto, do you find the same texture I did? I think the weird chocolate taste was due to artifical sweeteners. Do you like keto baking items? 

Damned Dogs and Tragedy

 Last night, because of exhaustion I went to bed at 7 pm and for one solid hour, this yappy dog barked and yapped. At 8 pm I was over sleeping and shaking. Finally I went to bed and slept for three hours. I had to get up because I was not going to sleep.

At 6:30 am, I figured I could sleep. NO! This same dog started yapping while someone revved their motor in the driveway. At 7:15, the dog stopped and the car left. I am not sure how long it took me to get to sleep, maybe an hour? 

I told Tommy last night to wake me at 11 am, before I knew how sleep-deprived I was going to be. He was calling me every half hour! UGH!  Finally, I got it across to him that I wanted to get up at 1 pm. I was/am shaky but may live.

While I was still in rough shape, I called a business and was puzzled as the why I could not get the owner. Well, I got the father and found out the young business owner had died a very tragic and preventable death. I cannot say more because this will probably be a big lawsuit, and I don't want to reveal anything to thwart the outcomes of this present tragedy. 

I felt gutted as the father told me what happened. He is a broken and bitter man. And, I can understand why. He said he cannot let it go as he kept warning the proper people and was ignored.

So, I am facing the weekend with a car tire being scrubbed by a part shoved into it. This loved and very nice man is gone. And, I need sleep desperately. Tonight is a low point. And, I cannot share the inequitable treatment or get comfort from others. No one told me not to talk about this senseless death, but I don't believe salving my pain at the expense of justice is the answer. 

How is your weekend shaping up? Any grocery deals? Our weather is beautiful, warm and dry. How is your weather?

Death in the Life of Another Blogger

 I just read on Sluggy's Post that Kim's husband had a massive heart attack on Christmas morning. It was such a shock to read this. Go to the link to see pictures of the gang on a cruise.

This will be my post for the day as there was not much to say. And, somehow it seems not right to talk about trivia when such a treasure is gone.

This Day Almost Killed Me!

I awoke at 7 am to get ready and be at the dr appointment at 9 am and accompany Tommy to his endoscopy. Finally, at 11:15 am he had not had the endoscopy, I asked him if he were going to stay and wait for the doctor. He said he was leaving. Another couple was there for their 8:30 appointment and had not been seen. 

Let's back up. Around 10:30, I called and told him I was faint. He told me to go get food. I asked if he wanted something, too. He did. I went to Arby's. As I was eating my sandwich, he called and said to pick him up. His sandwich was still warm as I had only eaten a third of mine. We sat and ate since we were famished and exhausted. 

We drove 86 miles for the round trip and got nothing done! We had to pick up meds for me from Walgreen's and one other small, quick chore. Finally, at 3:30 we arrived home. Needless to say, I am exhausted! I had told Tommy I would cook beef tips, carrots, potatoes and onions. He seemed disappointed when I suggested leftovers because I was tired. Right now, he is peeling carrots and potatoes. I might have chicken breast instead of beef. Okay, I put out boneless, skinless thighs to thaw, so no beef tips thawed, just thighs with the vegetables. 

I cannot find Yukon Gold potatoes. So, I just bought something labeled another kind of "gold." I have no idea what is the difference. Do you? 

I still feel like I am riding in the vibrating car. When waiting, I had the motor on, so the vibrations were endless. I am certainly glad I did not have to drive home as we were planning. 

The dogs next door are having their nightly bark session. I am so sick of this noise assault. And, their cat has decided our porch, carport, and the tops of our cars are hers. Well, I will see about that. It has fleas! 

Now is prep time for Tommy's birthday. I got him A Dog's Purpose. I will buy him chewing gum. I forgot what else I decided to give him. Now, I have to think what it was. Oh, a flashlight. We have these Vont lanterns that are a pain. The light comes out from all sides, which is good in a room with no light. But, holding the lantern in front of my face while I

 look in a closet or under the sink blinds me. And a headlamp!

While I was sitting in the car for two hours waiting for Tommy, I made calls I need to make. I found an animal shelter to take the prescription bottles. And, I discovered a close relative died from cancer. From another call, I found more relatives that died from cancer years ago. Lucky me to have this heritage!

There are three thighs leftover that I will freeze. There is a small potato, too. North to Alaska is on, but I may not be able to stay awake long enough to finish the movie. 

Bedtime here. What are all these "gold" potatoes? The tiny one I had tonight was delicious. But, I was hungry.

Death Again, List, Shopping

 Still Wednesday here. I got in touch with the woman who knows Tim, the guy who came and dusted and cleaned. The recliners will be delivered on Friday between 11 am and noon. So, he is coming at 10 am and work until noon. He can drag Tommy's recliner out and vacuum there and the corner and move his table and vacuum. He can drag the other recliner and get that corner. Under my chair is filthy, so that needs to be done. Tommy's short bookcase needs to have a shelf of books removed in order to move it. Tommy wants to just vacuum around it! NO! 

In the meantime, we are carrying out things small and large, throwing stuff out, carrying some to other rooms where they go or can live. I have a red sandal and a black one under a table that is so heavy I could never lift it. So, a good job for Tim, plus it needs to be moved for my recliner. 

It is my curb table. I begged Tommy to bring it to his house about five years ago. Now, he is claiming it. Nope!

We need to be somewhere Friday by 1:30, so this schedule works for us, thankfully. The furniture guys can put the two recliners on the road on Friday morning, and it should not rain until next Wednesday or so. Friday will be a heavy schedule and hard on me. 

Wednesday, we went to The Pig and Publix. I bought strawberries, blackberries, one navel orange, bologna, two pounds of carrots for $1.34 and one pound of baby carrots for $0.99, bell peppers for $0.49. The first carrot is for cooking and the other carrot for salads and snacking. Tommy wanted the baby carrots. Everything was on sale one way or the other. Bought two chunks of medium Kraft Cheddar, I found a package of Ball regular lids. (but not on sale) There was one left and I got it...ha ha! There was an empty space where I suspect wide-mouth lids or lids and rings were. 

The reason I only bought one navel orange was I should not have oranges, especially navel. I like to remove the thin orange peel and leave the thick white underneath and eat that along with the pulp. I think the white part is delicious. However, I am not supposed to eat much fiber. 

Tommy keeps all his clean clothes in plastic bags or hanging on the coat/hat rack. He puts the dirty clothes in a pile atop and inside mail carrier box. Someone gave it to him and he uses it for a laundry basket. He is very violent talking when I mention better clothes storage but still beside him. On Monday, I proffered an idea--how about getting a collapsible laundry basket, clothes that can stand and hold more clothes, take up less carpet real-estate, and look nice, too. He just looked at me like it was okay. At least, he was not against it. So, I will do that. You know the kind I mean, the tall one that collapses?

One day, this place will be fit for company. I told him soon we could invite his cousin here. He seemed happy about that. His cousin takes him and now me to Bright Star, but Tommy meets him at the door and leaves before he can see much inside. We can also invite Lynda, neighbor down the street. One day, I will get the bathroom cleaned (hire someone) and maybe he will put in the shower he really wants, the kind that has just a floor with a drain it it. The money he saved on these recliners will probably pay for the shower and bathroom remodel. 

A friend died in 2014, unbeknownst to me. I found out in 2016. We were close at one time but I pulled away as she was very dismissive of me, told me how poor I was compared to her in very unsubtle ways. They were millionaires. When I called him in 2016, he was in the last throes of dementia. I am not sure he really knew who I was. Well, today, I discovered he died shortly after we spoke. So, two long-time friends are gone. 

We each had a booth at same craft shows. So, for a while we were just friends at venues. Our friendship progressed until we talked and visited. Since they lived in Huntsville, it was easy and only 50+ miles north of me. At one point when I quit doing shows to go to school, I worked some shows with them. They had a double booth and each of us had a cash register. Then, I did a show for them.  They each were working different shows. 

Now, they are both gone and it seems like the end of something. Well, it is. People just keep dying! She was older than I am, but she died at a younger age than I am now. He died at 83. 

Thursday now. I called the WD40 company and they said to use Dawn and hot water. I am ready to toss them now instead of working on them. 

I have lots of plans for Thursday. Some are calls I need to make. Some are bills to pay. There are refunds to be collected when I make returns. The list is so long that I will not finish today. There are 14 items! One is done. Gotta go! 

Do you ever make a list so long you cannot get it done but it is what you need to do shortly? Like in a few days? 

Tommy's Day, Death, Stupid Mum!

 Well, Tommy's birthday is over. He liked the chicken and the zucchini. There were other vegetables I could give him, but he just wanted zucchini and lots of it. 

In the end, I put a small jar of apricot jam, 10 ounces of Italian Zesty Dressing, and a package of Onion Soup mix, cooked together on the stove and poured over the chicken tenders. I should have cooked them at the last uncovered, but they were fine covered and baked in the oven for an hour. I still have half of what I mixed up, so I can do this another day. There are two tenders left for lunch tomorrow. 

The brownies were a hit even though I obviously did not leave them in long enough. So, I scraped his liquid brownie into another pan and baked them again. Same with my portion that had not been removed from the pan. The last time I thought I had forgotten how to bake, the thermostat was broken. This oven bakes 50 degrees hotter. However, it could be fluctuating. 

He never wants anything--pie or brownies or cake--defiled with ice cream. I knew that but thought he might relent since it was his birthday. No go.  He also likes his ice cream plain.

The temperature is rising and will be up to 65F by 6 am. We will pay for this weather with a chance of tornadoes on Saturday. 

I saw in the obituary of another person that a friend died this summer. The obituary said she had predeceased the person who had died (did not know her.) I was beyond shocked! We were not close and never could be. Her daughter committed suicide at fifteen about 15 years ago. Five years ago, her husband committed suicide almost on the same day her daughter died. 

Funny story--She believed very much in the Rapture, which I do not. When her husband died, so did her mechanic. (Her joke, not mine.) So, she had to buy a car and bought a new one. When I saw it, I told her at the Rapture, I wanted her car. She became angry and defensive, yelled at me and told me her sister would get it. I laughed and asked her if her sister was going to still be here. She realized what she had said and would not laugh, just was embarrassed. 

For fifteen years, she served as a voluntary phone counselor for people who were considering suicide or who had a loved one commit suicide. My friend had to take sedatives to sleep, something to wake her enough to function, something for depression. I think her continual immersion in suicide could not allow her to heal. I mentioned this to her only once, and she said she had not thought about it that way. I have no idea if she continued with the counseling others because she sort of disappeared, moved away, I think. 

Even though she had diabetes and had to have half of several hammer toes removed, I wonder how she died. Covid? So, now I have to find one of her relatives listed in her relative's obit and see if I can find out what happened. I wonder if the two deaths by suicide by her family, and all the drugs she contributed to her death. ???

There were a group of women bullying me and I had no idea why. When I told her, she knew why and had moved to stop them. One woman had told people I had chased her and tried to hit her. My friend told the other women that she had seen me walk and there was no way I could chase anyone. Plus, she told them I was not like that. So, some of the women came separately and apologized when they saw me. 

I have a stack of obituaries that need a bit of investigation. 

On Tommy's birthday, I did not ask him to do anything to help out. Of course, I didn't do it either. We went to get his oil changed and mail a letter for me. He seemed to be out of sorts at time, but I said, "Okay, let's have an argument, okay?" and he stopped picking a fight. 

I give up on the mum I was going to spray. I refuse to throw good money after bad. I might give it a spritz of the clear glitter spray to see how it works, but I refuse to spray it all over first time. If it looks okay, I might throw a string of fairy lights from last year. It has a remote, so it will be easy to light. 

So, Tommy had a very good day, it seemed. Tomorrow, we will plant our Amaryllis (pink one and red one) for the house since they should have been planted two weeks ago. Maybe Saturday, we will put up the tree. 

Did you have a very good day, too?

Well, I had this post ready and the computer quit. The cord from here to wall died. The last time this happened, I got a warning. On Friday, the laptop just quit. Saturday weather was not conducive to driving to Hoover to get a new one, Or, to Big Box. So, on Sunday we left about 1 pm to search. I found one at Office Max and paid too much. But, laptop now works! 

AND, I am tired. Tommy actually fluffed the tiny tree and did it right. THEN, he said don't you want me to put the ornaments on the tree. He likes it, obviously. Nothing for Christmas was done today. So, I think I will go with red and green. I am going to cook pasta for spaghetti and have salad or just steamed broccoli--red and green. I might get out the ornaments. 

Did you get any tornadoes or bad weather on Sunday or anytime on the weekend

This Makes Me So Sad

Aurora  caused a fear of movies. Columbine and Sandy Hook caused fear of schools. Now, Waukesha causes me to fear Christmas parades. All the innocent activities show how evil and mean people can spoil it for the rest of us. 

I sort of get over the horrors as it relates to myself. I will still go to the movies. My children are teachers and grandchildren go to school. I won't skip Christmas parades. It is still all just so sad to remove joy and replace it with death. 

Each instance digs a little deeper into my psyche. I try to get over my fears. And, I think I succeed to only have a more horrible fear appear. 

First and foremost, I am saddened, deeply saddened. 

I baked an apple pie and we ate some tonight. The rest is for Thanksgiving. For dinner tonight--salad with tomatoes and chicken, not a heavy meal. 

We will all endure and get past the parade killing. Won't we? Except for the loved ones of those run down. 

Kim at Out My Window id facing her own family crisis and deaths. 

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

November 11th is my brother's birthday. He was born 11/11 and died 12/12, only 52 years old. I was 14 months older. My little brother should not have died first. 2001 was a stressful year as 9/11 occurred, my best friend ever died, and my brother died. Yes, I do say "died" as I cannot stand saying or hearing "lost" or "passed." 

Tuesday, My friend came from Cullman, cleaning gutters and cutting stray trees. He picked up a chicken pen and said he did not want money for the work. We were prepared to pay money, but I owned something he wanted. So, that trade happened. And, I gave him cash for gas. 

Wednesday, we went to Cullman.

PO

my house

Publix

storage unit

BK

another grocery

stopped for lab test

I had only slept three hours, but it turned out to be very pleasant. Wednesday is when I found the turkey breast deal. My groceries for Thanksgiving are coming along. I could do without any of these and still eat well. I listed most of what we got on Wednesday on the last post. 

Thursday

I slept well and awoke exhausted on Thursday. We wanted to take advantage of sales on Coke and Pepsi, so we went out before the rain was predicted. 

onions

potatoes

bay leaves

Dr. Pepper

cream cheese

bananas

cooking bags--hold 8 lbs.

bay leaves

The rest of Thursday:

If the hen is thawed, I will cook that. 

finish loading dishwasher

wash cookie sheet for hen in bag

hand-wash lids for glass dishes

scramble eggs for me

hang up wet laundry

fold dried laundry

The dishwasher is half full of wide-mouth, quart, Ball canning jars. Some of these are destined for powdered sugar, brown sugar, and flour.  Tommy just went out to get in the clothes from the dryer. 

Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, I will dice onions and freeze them for Thanksgiving cooking.  This year, I plan to make the mashed potatoes and freeze them, same for anything that can be made ahead of time. 

Maybe I will peel apples for an apple pie, but that might be pie in the sky...lol.

It is only noon on Thursday, and I am tired. What I want is a nap but won't give in.

What is happening in your life? Any great deals? Oh, there were NO turkeys or breasts when I went to Publix today. I was exhausted yesterday and had to come home. Besides, Tommy has to bring everything in, several trips pushing a walker up a ramp. Then, he has to lift the walker into the house. 

We turned the pumpkin with its painted on face to the wall. That was the extent of our Thanksgiving decoration. The mums and pansies are still on display. What decorating do you do for Thanksgiving on your porch? Or, inside?

Do you cook with bay leaves?

\ 

Too Pooped to Type

I was so sad Colin Powell died. He was a hero of mine. His situation shows why we should be so careful of infecting people. He was vaccinated, but had multiple myeloma. So, the vaccine was not very effective for him. I mourn. 

If I don't visit or leave a comment, consider I am exhausted and have been busy. Today, Tommy had an appointment to get new tires at 11 am. We got there at 11 am and asked how long it would take. I rode with him. Then, my gastrointestinal tract betrayed me and I had to go home and change clothing. So, he took me home; I jumped out; he went directly back. We are less than a mile from the shop. 

Once I cleaned up and changed clothes, tried to recover and went back in my car. Tommy got into my car because I needed something to eat. So, did he. 

We went back about 1 pm and the car was not done because she said, "he had to leave." Yet, it was on the rack with only one tire, and old one on the vehicle. She was very accusatory which I did not like. Okay, at 3:15, the woman called back as it was done. 

I drove him back, so he could get it. It was over $800. However, there was a b3g1, and he had a coupon for free installation. So, with alignment, he paid ~ $790. I asked and he has absolutely no idea what the savings were.  And, and this card will give him cash back. So, now we are driving on good tires. 

Today, I wanted to go and buy a recliner with the lift mechanism. I really need it. But, I spent all day at the ready and spent the time getting tires! I saved one of my stimulus for this purpose. Tomorrow, we must do something else. 

The Dollar Tree was on my list of places to go. I managed to get in and shop. There was no shelf stable milk, what I was looking for to buy. It is $1, so I try to keep it. Just before it expires, Tommy drinks it. Then, I get more. No, that was not in the cards today. So, I still need to do that. 

My new wool blanket is wonderful. I put it on my bed last night, right on top of a quilt, a comforter and a fuzzy blanket. It was warm when I got into bed, but I lay still, cooled off and slept well all night.  The comforter was the only thing pulled up to my shoulders. The comforter and fuzzy blanket were only over my feet, how I have used them all summer. Now, I want to find another one on eBay. 

Right now, I am going to try to get a gigantic hen in a baking bag. This meat will be taken off the bone by Tommy. Chicken and dumplings is on the menu some day. 

Does anyone have a recommendation for a brand recliner? I hate the wide arms that recliners usually have, but I want the seat to be wide. I also hate that big bumpy part for the head. It pushed my head forward and crushes my hair, and wraps around my face!

They Keep Dying

 I saw the obituary of a friend and wonder how he died. We have not seen or spoken to each other in about ten years. He was too far into alcoholism. When he was not funny, he was abusive. I was his computer person. The first thing I did for him had him convinced I was the best. He had had two "computer experts" (his words)  to work with his computer and printer. I was the only person who finally got his printer to quit speaking German or French or something. So, he paid me to make house calls. 

He was very young, not a boyfriend or anything.  But, I am shocked he died. Last year, I heard he was on the list for a liver transplant but recovered and did not need the liver. His birthday was September 3, and always sang the song about the third of September, just a bit of it. 

You may think he was not much of a friend if we had not spoken lately.  However, things happened and I was busier. So was he. 

Have you regretted not staying in closer touch with a friend who died?

I Made a New Friend and Another Died

 When we go to the park, we end our trip by driving along the road that has ball fields on the right and houses on the left. Then, we turn around and come back along the road with the houses now on the right. We get a view into back yards which is very interesting. 

I was thrilled with the dozens of bee hives in one back yard. We, of course, decided soon that these held no bees. Last week, I commented to Tommy that I supposed they were not planning on raising bees since there is the third year the hives have been empty.

Tommy commented that they must be going to move because there were two moving vans in front of the house since he could see they from the park. I wanted something they had removed from one of their utility buildings.

We drove into our subdivision and went to the house. One of the movers went in and told the people we wanted to talk to them. The woman was very nice, telling us the were moving to Childersburg. 

I wanted to buy the four-foot Santa blow mold. She was adamant about keeping it. It was filthy, many years of filthy! But, she held firm and, of course, I gave up. We talked chickens, Hosta, and she gave me plants--Jacob in a boat. I think that is what she called the purple plant. 

As we were leaving, she said to me, "I wish I had met you sooner. Here we are moving and meet you." I felt the same way. She was very nice and friendly. Her husband had to call her away from our car to help move. He had gone straight back and gotten the Santa blow mold and stuck it into the bed of his pickup truck. I would place good money on the fact he would not tie it down and it would blow out. But, I kept my mouth shut. 

When we went to the park two days later, they had removed the hives and other items. I want one of the five foot chickens she left that are made in Mexico. I will have to see what she will take for them. No, I would never take things left in a yard where someone had moved out!

For some reason I was piddling around on my Facebook and found a curious notation under a picture of my only, that I know, transgender friend. I wonder about the notation and finally figured out Dana had died. Over several years, I had encountered her at group birthday parties and such. She was nice and I have no idea how she died in 2010.  I still talk with the other people who knew her, so I will have to find out. It is not that I am that distant from these people, but things happen to connections when you have been away as I have. 

So, I lost two friends this last week. 

Today, I announced I wanted KFC. Now, Tommy is not a person to turn down going out to pick up food. When I came here, I fully grasped how often he went out to pick up fast food! Today, it was delicious, as usual. We had to sit and wait for the biscuits. Of course, we did and were not troubled by the time involved. But, we were on the KFC lot for 45 minutes. UGH However, the meal was delicious. 

It is 8:30 pm and I now have to go in the kitchen and cook 12 large, fat, and full ears of corn. All the kernels except for meals will be frozen for this winter. I will freeze the kernels from two ears in each bag. And, then put those bags into one big bag. Thankfully, I have a huge pot for the boiling.

Monday night, I continued to crochet the granny square. I only made the first round the night before. It occurred to me last night that something was wrong, it was raveling from the start. So I pulled it out. Then, I was crocheting a very tiny cap. It fit right on my thumb! Of course, I had only made three groups of three double crochet. It was an easy fix, but silly mistake. 

My goals for everyday: crochet or do some handwork, read a physical book, listen to music, and exercise/march. Of course, I read on the computer, listen to Rod Stewart, and sporadically exercise this last month. I am going to buy an apparatus to listen to different music here in the living room. It won't be fancy, just cheap. Tommy's clock radio is awful when music is on. 

I had an appointment in Cullman today for the allergist that comes from Birmingham. Instead of my going there, he called me. He has sent me a prescription for allergies, head congestion. It is a spray. We spent so long at KFC that I just wanted to get home before dark. 

We are supposed to have four days of rain, so we will be home. How is your week coming along? Fun? Work? Education? Activities? Eating well? 

Memorial Day

The ribs went into the oven about 6 pm. We had ribs, slaw, corn on the cob. I had two deviled eggs and Tommy had baked beans. The day was quiet around here. 

Earlier, I put color on my hair, and reveled in clean hair! I had been putting off the hair color for two days, so my hair was nasty. 

Last week, two of my high school 1964 classmates died. The girl I cannot remember. The guy was nice and funny and everyone liked him. 

The third person died Saturday night and was a professor and eventually a friend. I went to parties at her house for over 20 years--Thanksgiving Dinner, Christmas party, Christmas Open House, Easter, Fourth of July block party every year. Halloween a couple of times, various educational meetings about sociology, her field. A bunch of us had yard sales at her house in Southside catty corner from Lorino's. I was included in groups that were mostly professors. I have many fond memories of her--intelligent, brave, funny. She died with dementia. 

I saw the dementia in about 1995. Folks, it starts well before it is identified. Her husband died about five years ago of vascular dementia.

I do so much appreciate the men who died while ensuring I could be free today. 

Brownies and Ice Cream, Death, and a Decision

 Friday, we went to one of the food pickups and came home with an enormous amount of food. They told us we could have as many boxes as we wanted. We said two, and the woman said you can have more, take more. So, we took four and she offered more. There is so much I need to work up. 

We got: six more butternut squashes, apples, plums, baby carrots like lunch size bags, red onions, baking potatoes, zucchini, cucumbers.

Also on Friday I purchased a blood pressure cuff, a touchless thermometer, and a 72" set of shelves--3 ft. wide.  I need the shelves for food in the kitchen. Food is all over floor, chairs, and table! I did not want to put it together last night, so we will do that today, Saturday. We both learned how to use the thermometer and practiced last night. He was pleased with his purchases...lol.

Last week, I saw red light out the door window one night. There was an ambulance across the street and a fire truck. I assumed the guy across the street who had developed lung cancer was going to hospital unless he had already died. 

Thursday night, there were several extra and never-before-seen cars there. I told Tommy he must have died. He poo-pooed that idea as I insisted. Well, Friday, Tommy talked to a woman from across the street and he did die! I thought the woman was the wife. No, she was the sister moved in to care for the guy. His wife died two years ago. Tommy was shocked as he had not heard about it. 

That is how disconnected he is from a man he has known for 25 years, a man who has faithfully mowed his yard or paid someone to mow his yard, a man who gave him his ramp and paid his men to install it for Tommy. I wonder how hurt the guy was that Tommy never acknowledged his wife died. I have a sympathy card for Tommy to give to them.

This guy has mown Tommy's yard for ten or more years, or had his employees mow Tommy's yard. 

At Dollar Tree a few weeks ago, I had bought 2/$1 8x8 inch disposable brownie pans, so I took one of the $0.98 Betty Crocker Fudge Brownie and made brownies. Tommy took them over. The guy's three daughters and their small children were there, plus other people from distant states. So, it was not much, but I am sure the brownies will be eaten! 

After baking brownies for them, I had still to bake brownies for my birthday. I decided Pillsbury Chocolate Fudge Brownie Mix and a pint of ice cream were just what I needed. I ate waaaaay too much. We had to run to a Shell station to get the ice cream. 

After breakfast every day or many days, I get so tired and lethargic that I go to bed and sleep several hours. I have decided this is my blood sugar dropping and not good for me. Soooo, a decision. From now on, after I eat I will take a walk. Today, I was going to walk in the street with my walker and Tommy watching me in case I have a spill or someone runs me down. Then, I changed my mind. He set his stopwatch for me to walk in the house. 

I planned to walk for five minutes but made it to 3:30. I was just too winded to go farther. I was walking quickly down the hall and back around to the kitchen and to the stove. That is 25 steps. I will try for another 5 minutes in a bit, maybe only the 1:30 that I did not get done this time. Okay, I walked another 1:30 and was exhausted. I had to lie down because back and foot hurt so. But, I did not just fade away as before. 

One of the relatives of the man who died came and mowed Tommy's yard this afternoon. I think I will bake another pan of brownies for them. I am going to take two packages of brownie mix, put it in the other 8x8 pan and make brownies to take across the street. I think I will send some of this produce, too.  I hate to expect grieving people to cook their own food, but I cannot. They can haul it off to their own home if they don't want to cook now. 

It is 4:30 and 90F. Summer likes to linger here in the South. 

Sewing, Reunion, Death, Garden, Microwave

Urspo sent me a package of fabric for masks. I have the interior, the filtering part. I decided against using any of the pads for under babies or incontinent people. Some of it tears easily, so i doubt it will hold up in the wash.

Since I don't have a sewing machine to use, I can use needle and thread. I bought new thread. The needles Tommy's mothers last used 57 years ago appear to be good. I hate I have no iron or ironing board. Tommy said he had never owned an iron or ironing board and has never ironed anything. I am amazed.

On Friday I received a call from a second cousin from Indiana. He is coming here Sunday morning from Montgomery. They are traveling and pulling a 25 foot motor home, or whatever you call them, a fifth wheel. So, I called his uncle who is my cousin and talked a bit and received family pictures in email.

I called my step-sister who does not sound well at all. She told me one of her brothers, my step-brother had died last week. I have seen none of them in over 50 years. He lives on the West coast, so since she lives in the South and is in poor health, she did not attend the funeral. I was sad for her. 

Saturday, we went to back yard and watered 3 of the four boxes. Last week, I planted two Better Boy tomato plants. They were leggy, about a foot tall. So, I pinched off all leaves except the top three. I left sad little leaves above the ground and the long stem stretched out and buried. Saturday, they were over a foot tall and looked happy. 

In another box I transplanted two red bell pepper plants and two plants that I do not recognize. I suppose I will have to do a little research on those. In the third box I planted a green Bell pepper plant. Since  was exhausted after that, we came in. I always wait until the sun is behind the house. The one week I worked about 3 pm in the sun, it took a few days to recover. 

Tommy loves red or green bell peppers. I have some in the freezer because even though I won't eat them, they are a good seasoning, along with onions and celery--Holy Trinity. 

The neighbor came and removed the microwave. When he left, I frantically cleaned underneath. It was so filthy. I commented to Tommy that fact. He said he had never cleaned under it since he set it there in 1980 and he was not surprised. Gross. Finally, I squirted Dawn on the counter I had made wet but could not get clean. Well, I was trying to get the layer off. After lots of Dawn, it was clean as a whistle in about one minute. 

Tommy commented that he could take the item from the microwave and set it on the counter. His was so deep it covered the counter front to back. His microwave had no light inside. Mine does, so I won't have to get a flashlight to see the food to judge if it is done or bubbly or whatever. 

My microwave is tiny. There is a foot of extra counter toward the sink and in front of the microwave. Tommy is glad to have the smaller one and the room on the counter. 

Reunion

My cousin said he would call when he was almost here. I saw a pickup slowing down and saw it was towing a huge domicile. So, he was here. 

He came to the door and immediately told me I looked just like his Aunt Linda. After he took his dog for a walk and scoped out where he could turn around, we visited for about and hour. 

This cousin, really a second cousin, looks identical to my grandfather! He said he looked just like his father, also. His wife commented it was all in the eyes. That is what everyone in our family says. 

Once, I went to a funeral and saw a young woman with three children. I could tell she was my relative because of her eyes. I could be in a strange town and see a relative from my father's side and recognize the person by the eyes. 

He showed me pictures on his phone of his aunts and uncles, all my cousins. I have never met any of them. Well, when I was a young child, I may have seen them.  And, I showed him one relative, a cousin, who has his own FB entry. 

I had brownies, watermelon, Diet Pepsi, Coke, and water but they wanted none of it. They are visiting a friend of his near my town north of here. I think they are going for lunch. 

We all wore masks. Tommy and I were not going to eat so we could keep our masks own. David and I took our masks off outdoors so we could take pictures of each other. All in all, it was a good little family reunion. 

Out of Control, Death and Carb Effect

In my kitchen there is an embarrassment hiding. When I moved in here in 1977, I initially placed recipe books, torn out recipes, hand written recipe books, and single sheets of paper with recipes in one place. You know that corner part of a cabinet? The part you cannot readily see? Well, there has been "drift" from that perfect spot.

It is a mess since the smaller pieces of paper and full sheets have drifted out from their spot. Occasionally, I have sort of straightened this out and tried to contain the "drift" that seems to inevitably occur when I have the doors to the cabinet shut. It's sneaky!

Although the concern has been decades in the building, I finally decided to do something about it. For months I considered finding the perfect box the size of a sheet of paper to use to pull out all the "drift" so I could sit and sort. Mind you, five minutes of pulling out paper would be the limit. Finally, I spotted a storage box, clear with locking lid. This will work. It may take me months to conquer this hidden problem. But, I am determined it will be done.

Send me some psychic energy. I need it. Maybe a few threats will help. I never seem to get to the bottom of this pile. It is sort of like never finishing the ironing in the basket.

Don't get me wrong, picking through the piles once in a while occurs. . . . seldom, but I do try to pretend I am cleaning out the cabinet. I suspect most of the recipes will no longer interest me.

I decided to call my best friend ever since a call was overdue. When I could not find her number, I googled her name and got an obituary. The room spun. My vision was fuzzy. The room darkened. Her death is the most devastating death outside my immediate family. She died two years ago at age 72, the age I am now. The explanation--a brain bleed from Eliquis and Aleve.  I need to know more.

We both pulled our cars up to the pool to pick up our older children. We both got out of our respective car with an almost-two-year-old in arms. I told her, "Elvis died." She stammered and sort of laughed, suggesting I was kidding. We both cried.

My five hour "nap" on Friday afternoon/evening was the result of shopping stress, heat, and carbs. Certain carbs make me pass out, not literally, but my head on a pillow means four hours gone. At the lunch the other day, my blood sugar rose too much, so we left and I walked round and round the car as I waited for Tommy. The little bit of extra exercise did seem to work to bring my blood sugar down. I think the two portions of cake kicked me over the edge. The portions are so small that I really only had a normal sized slice of cake. Of course, I had been up for 15 hours. Does anyone else have this occur? Do carbs have a knockout effect on you?

Pain, Death, Meth, Kitty--A Good Day

Amazingly, today I have been relatively free of pain and completely free of exhaustion. Plus, the uti symptoms have entirely abated. Low humidity has contributed to these changes. Well, antibiotics are responsible for no uti symptoms.

If I really push to accomplish things while I feel well, I will be in pain for three days. So, I set goals and then do half the items on the list. It works for me. This beats taking pain pills! I know what I want to accomplish and prioritize tasks as I go.

Saturday night, something strange happened. I started sweating profusely and soon felt like I was being boiled alive. Then, muscles in all parts of my body started moving. It was not a muscle twitch, something different. I fell asleep that way. What can those symptoms mean? This has never happened to me.

Saturday night, the meth addict came here. I was in the bed for the night and almost asleep. He knocked until I went to the door. I just pulled back the curtain a bit. I am quite sure he could see I was in my nightgown. But, he persisted. I must have said "NO" ten times. He cannot wear me down. I am immune! He wanted a ride to the Waffle House. I called the police! AGAIN. Next time, I will tell him "just a minute" and go into another room and call the police. There is a warrant out on him.

I suggested he get my neighbor, his friend. He tried there but the friend was not home. I can go off on him and stop these house calls, but he might get even or complain to a friend who will get even with me. I had a lot of nasty screaming inside of me that only fear contained.

Kitty must have a weekend home. She has not been here the last two days. Last weekend, she was absent, also. Tommy said he saw her here on Saturday morning, but I did not. I miss her. Do cats wear collars?

This time of the year, grass and weeds grow so fast it is hard to control them. My yard needs mowing about every three days. When I could still use the reel mower, I was more in control.

Several months ago, I awoke to find that one of my son's friends had lost his mother to a traffic accident half a mile from her home on her way to work.
+. A teen texting ran a red light and killed this woman. If I checked the obituaries, I would probably find more people I know who died.

Then, a guy that I see at least once a month at a dinner had been found dead one morning. This is such a shock.

Now, that is two people I know of who died. These were not old people since both were in their seventies and active and social, working even. I wonder how many people I knew have died even though I have not heard of their deaths yet.

I suppose this is a downer post. But, this weekend was anything but a downer. As a matter of fact, this was a good day.  And, we are going to see POM this week. I love Diane Keaton.