Friday, February 10, 2023

Life Is Not Worth Living

 These were my sentiments on Thursday night. I could barely move my hands while sitting here in my recliner. I felt a bit woozy, little bit like throwing up, stomach hurt, legs hurt, heart beating funny, lethargic, trouble walking, cold and then hot, but no elevated temperature, brain fog, trouble speaking, trouble reading aloud, lower spine in pain, sneezing fits, not much coughing, feet hurt, toes cramping randomly, no energy, no motivation. I was fully in despair. 

Friday morning, I had an apointment at 9 am. The doctor said my lungs and head were still full, gave me an antibiotic and something for neuropathy in my feet. I don't think I will take the last. And, I do believe I have a bad experience or two with the antibiotic. I do not feel one bit better, but I feel hopeful. 

We went to Cullman for a few things, and I was sicker when I got home, so slept about four hours. Tommy could not get me to wake up at time I asked him to wake me. So, I have eaten turkey and green beans for dinner and a banana. 

Right now, I have to take meds and don't feel like doing it. So, I will talk about the trip to Cullman tomorrow. It was more eventful than most. 

PLEASE--NO PLATITUDES OR ADVICE.

Have you ever been so ill that you felt like it was not worth living? Even for a moment? 

13 comments:

  1. If you are suffering that much
    go to the ER. Your body is telling you something is very wrong.
    You have been sick like this a while.
    I know you have been to more than one doctor. Has anyone done a sputum culture? To see what's growing in your lungs?
    Bring any medicine or empty bottles
    With you so the doctor knows what they have already given you.
    Your heart beating funny is reason enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cannot sit for eight hours in ER.
      I drove 60 miles to get to a doctor last week.
      For over three weeks going on a month.
      No sputum culture.
      I take a list and they are okay with this.
      My heart beats funny all the time, always has.

      Delete
  2. Feel better soon. It truly stinks when you don't feel good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rachel,
    Thanks! You have felt terrible for long periods of time, so I know you understand!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I remember once being sick and thinking I didn't care much if I lived. Objectively, I wasn't so sick, I was at home not hospital. I have often thought I'm probably not one of those people who would fight to live, I get too self pitying to make an effort.
    I hope you're improving

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kylie,
      I feel like I am getting better for about five minutes. Even eating is still tiring. I would fight to live. Just because you are at home is no sign you will live...lol.

      Delete
  5. Sending my good wishes and hoping you feel better soon.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sorry you're not feeling well. I am right there with you, feeling like absolute crap with some unknown virus. I am just taking Advil for all the aches/chills, trying to stay hydrated, and sleeping when I can. Some days feel I feel better, then I am right back to CrappysVille. It's stupid and it stinks!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sue,
      I have sort of been up and down, too. I think it is lifting and it is worse. I never take anything for pain or chills.

      Delete
    2. I have to take something to dull the aches or I can't fall asleep--I just lay there thinking how much everything hurts!

      Delete

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