Okay

I just had to get away from this blog. It has become toxic with all the negative comments about my treatment of Tommy. I actually am saving his life, mine, and possibly others' lives. When I went several days with no comments at all, I decided, and i think I am still right that no one wants to hear about what is going on. It appears since I have nothing in common with any of you, I am not worth a comment. I don't have chickens, babies, or pictures to post, so let's just read her and leave no comments. Okay.

But, I have to tell you what I did. I called his doctor and left a message with his doctor. I was wanting a call to tell him all that was going on, most of which I have never disclosed to a soul. I told the doctor about him straddling a line on the interstate, having to call for welfare check so many times, how he threw things at me, accused me of trying to convince him to drive into a deep ditch, hallucinations, accused me of trying to feed him to get him fat so he would have a heart attack and other things I will not share here. I begged him not to tell Tommy. So, today the doctor took away a pill that lowers his blood sugar. He told the doctor (he said) all the incidents except for throwing things at me.

He has a "tell." When things first start, he says, "I don't know what is going on." over and over! I was feeling not well, and was going to give him Progresso soup when he started acting funny. I took the soup to him, and he sat back in his chair and just looked at it. He did not eat, just kept saying he "did not know what was going on." He removed the soup and put it on a table, and eventually ate it. Just now, I asked him if he remembered all that. He just said he remembered being in the middle of eating soup.

He told me he gained 8 pounds in the last six months--too much junk, he says. I do eat junk, but he seems to devour it all the time.

Okay, that was a lot to write about him. That part of our life will be silent from now on.

It is so cold here! However, we still have the heat at 64F. Sometimes, I even get overheated with only the summer nightgown on. We do turn the heat up for thirty minutes or so when either of us bathe. When the wind blows, the air comes all around both doors. I bought that sticky tape with foam and he yelled at me. There is still some foam stuck to the door facing, so I have to scrape it off. First, I need to buy a scraper since I no longer have one and will not ask for one!

I cannot wait until summer when there are yard sales. Tommy has been warned that I will want him to stop at yard sales. However, I will probably have to drive since he will try to get in a good place to park. I park the best I can and do not spend five minutes pulling back and forward, fretting over where to park. I will buy tools as I find them. Old tools are better than new ones! Hopefully, I can find lawn furniture, too.

Even though it is very cold, I went to church with the sleeveless blouse and pants that are summer wear. I then wore a black sweater over it with a thing that is a rectangle with slit for front and ruffles around it and RED. So, I was plenty warm even with sandals. It was dry, so no problem getting feet wet! I did need gloves, but I ruined ones given to me. I spilled a cup of milk into my tote bag and did not realize they got wet. Now, they have big white spots. I am not sure if this is mildew or if the color has been bleached. Yes, I need to wash them and see.

I have not had scrambled eggs until this morning. I had to buy eggs, a mixer, strainer and a bowl, and remember I wanted them AND have time to cook them. I always used a blender to scramble them and strain the scrambled eggs through. I cannot stand the white strings in raw or scrambled eggs. Yes, I know it is strange. This morning, I scrambled four eggs and ate them. I was going to save half for tomorrow morning, but before I knew it, I had finished them. Next time, I will leave the ones to save in the kitchen. Better yes, I will put them in the refrigerator. I only drank milk and no bread. No, I am not worried about cholesterol because eggs do not raise cholesterol, or so I have read and believe. I will not be eating four eggs ever again. Promise!

Saturday night was the first time in a week that I slept more than two or three hours. So, for a week I lived on little sleep. Last night, I stayed up too late, and needed to be up early. Therefore, I slept five hours. And, I did not get up to use the bathroom. That is first ever for me. Getting sleep is my greatest challenge.